Through Sapphire Eyes
by Silvertine
Summary: One year after the destruction of the Ring, Frodo is depressed and angry. So Sam helps out...


[ Through Sapphire Eyes ]  
By D. (Tippy*)  
  
The firelight cast flickering shadows on the darkened walls of the sitting room in Bag End, as I sat, gazing into the grasping flames.  
They burned into my eyes, and I found myself once more in the Cracks of Doom with the Ring.  
  
Suddenly, a sharp cry escaped my lips as I shrank back in my armchair, shivering as though the fire did not warm my body. Or my soul.  
  
"Frodo..." A soft voice said.  
  
"Sam." I whimpered, burying my face into my hands in shame and loneliness. "Sam, I'm so sorry. But it *hurts*...even after so long, the Ring is still a part of me, even though it is gone. Gone..."  
  
Samwise nodded slowly, then came towards me and sat at the foot of my armchair. He slowly stroked my hand like Primula had done when I'd been a child in Buckland.  
  
"Master, it is over. We're at Bag End now. We're *home*, Frodo! Home!" Sam said comfortingly.  
  
"Dear Samwise, has it only been a year since the Ring's destruction...?"  
  
"Yes, Master. And your life is back together now. The pieces all fit perfectly - you have Bag End, you have your wealth, you have all the food and drink any Hobbit could ever hope for!"  
  
"And friends, Sam? And thanks from all the silly, stupid Hobbits of the Shire? I saved their lives, and they are not aware of it...or perhaps they do not wish to be aware of it. Perhaps the very thought of a threat to their lives is something so beyond their simple minds that when they are finally rescued, they do not even acknowledge the fact that they were in danger at all!"  
  
I rose to my feet, and noticed Sam quaking. Scared, because he realised that the curious, quiet hobbit whom he'd gardened for before the Quest, had grown into an angry, bitter, proud creature with a hard shell around his heart.  
  
"My dear Frodo...what has happened to you..." Sam murmured softly, reaching out a trembling hand towards me.  
  
And once more, I was Frodo. Once more, I was a quiet, curious hobbit...but with a burdened heart.  
  
"Samwise, forgive me. I do not deserve your kindness. I do not deserve ANYTHING given to me..."  
  
Sam shook his head staunchly, the still-bright fire catching against his dark reddish-brown hair. He now knelt before me on the floor - I, sitting once more in the armchair - his calloused hands clasping my pale, smooth ones tightly.  
"My, you are a silly hobbit, Frodo. The only thing you did not deserve was the Ring, and all the torment it brought to you. You do not seem to see that so many people care for you! Though some hobbits do not realise what you've done for them, admittedly, but they still love you. And are always going to be there for you, no matter what!"  
  
I suddenly heard someone laughing, then realised it was *me*. Laughing, and then weeping - tears slowly flowing down my cheeks as I cried with great, rasping sobs...  
And then Sam pulled me down on the floor beside him and let me moisten his shirt with my tears.  
But he suddenly grasped me by the shoulders, and pushed me back, gazing at me.  
  
"Dear Mister Frodo, I hate to see you cry, because I care about you. Please, how can I make you happy? I would give you the moon, master, if only you said the words."  
  
"Sam, I...I..." More tears flowed as I slowly moved my face towards his, then felt the union of our lips. Firelight dancing red between our bodies as I hungrily kissed Samwise...  
  
I flew backwards, gasping and crying shamefully.  
  
"Samwise, I did not mean to...I am so sorry-"  
  
"-Frodo, I - I love you. And I am not at all sorry for kissing you back, just now."  
  
A choking sob escaped my lips, but Sam silenced it.  
  
"I cannot do this, you don't understand..." I whispered in a hoarse voice, trying to regain myself.  
  
"No, no. It's alright, Mister Frodo. Everything will be fine. I can help you, I can make you feel better."  
  
Silent tears flowed down my cheeks as I gazed into Sam's trustworthy brown eyes.  
  
"...I...I suppose..."  
  
[ --- ]  
  
The fire was low as I gazed at it, eyes as dull as before. I felt numb in a way, numb - and yet aware of every sensation. Of the feeling of the soft carpet beneath me. Of Sam's warm limbs entwined with mine. Of his soft breath tickling my neck as he slept soundly beside me, his strong, bare chest rising and falling with every intake and release of air from his lips.  
  
Slowly pushing Sam's sleeping form away, I got to my feet and wrapped a thick blanket around my thin shoulders.  
  
I padded over to a large round window, then curled up in the rocking chair beside it, gazing out.  
White stars glimmered, beautiful and pure, in the velvety black sky. One day, I realised, one day I would stare at those same stars with Bilbo, Gandalf, and the others - from the shores of the Gray Havens.  
  
But right now I was here. A cold, lonely being, gazing at my reflection in the window.  
  
Sapphire eyes stared back, but they were dry now.   
Dry and hollow, since there were no tears left to cry.  
  
[ The End ]  
  
*koff-hack* That was highly depressing. And too angsty for my liking. But hey, i'm probably the only fan fic author who can say I drew inspiration from staring a *leetle* too long at Elijah Wood pictures, specifically at his absolutely gorgeous eyes. God, that boy is photogenic. ;P  
much love,  
~~~~Dee 


End file.
